


Since You've Been Gone (Discontinued)

by cafeakira



Category: Gonkillu - Fandom, Hunter X Hunter, Killugon - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-14 17:05:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9195416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafeakira/pseuds/cafeakira
Summary: Several years have passed since Gon and Killua separated at the World Tree, each following his own path.Gon became a bounty hunter, and his popularity rises, thanks to the influence from his father, Ging, earning himself the title of double star.Killua, on the other hand, falls under the wrong influence thanks to the deep depression he fell under after being separated from his light for so long.What happens when Gon's next job is to hunt down Killua and kill him?





	1. Preface

**Main Characters:**

**Gon Freecss:** _Bounty Hunter;_  
**Killua Zoldyck:** _(Information withheld)_  
**Kurapika Kuruta:** _Blacklist Hunter;_  
**Leorio Paladiknight:** _Doctor;_  
**Biscuit Krueger:** _Gon's mentor;_  
**Alluka Zoldyck:** _Killua's younger sister;_ _Specialist/Crime Hunter_  
**Zushi:** _Manipulator; Contract Hunter_  
**Wing:** _Gon's old master_  
**Illumi Zoldyck:** _Killua's oldest brother; Assassin_  
**Hisoka:** _Wanderer_  
**Ging Freecss:** _Gon's dad; Archeological Hunter_  
**Mito Freecss:** _Gon's aunt_

* * *

Other characters will make an appearance.

* * *

_© 2017. All Rights Reserved_

_by cafeakira_


	2. Prologue

_"Kite said that no matter where we go, we'll always be friends!"_

**Gon's Narration**

  **==**

  _That's how it was left. Those were the last words I had spoken to my best friend. That promise lingered between us as we turned our backs to one another. We were kids then; naive, and we wholeheartedly believed that promise would be kept.  
_

_We didn't have the ability to see the future, so neither of us knew of the dramatic turn our lives would take..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slow updates as I want this story to come out perfect, so I won't publish a chapter until I'm 100% satisfied with it. so bear with me pls <3


	3. Pain

**_一_ ** _"I can't do this without Killua."_

**Gon's POV**

**==**

_Desperate shouts filled the air, followed by the sounds of machines beeping and clicking were all that resonated, and a wetness touching my skin...was it my skin? I couldn't tell. I was slipping in and out of consciousness, Kite's face as clear as day in my mind's eye, before it was replaced by another. Pale skin and oceanic blues...features I knew like the back of my own hand. Tears leaked like rainwater down that same pale skin as hands reached out towards me, a voice shouting my name in agony._

_"Gon! GON!"_

Pain. The kind that wracked every fiber of my being, every muscle in my body, consumed me whole until it was so excruciatingly painful, that I would wake up screaming in the midst of the night, perspiration running down my brow, causing my Aunt Mito to rush to my bedside.

Those are my earliest recollections of the first few months after the Chimera Ant mission. My memories were hazy, and tried as I might, I couldn't remember anything after the fight with Pitou.

Fists clenching as I had sat at the edge of my bed, curtains billowing with the mild breeze that made its way through my window, there was a face that kept appearing in my peripheral vision, and though I would turn, it would be gone.

Killua.

Caramel eyes glisten with tears as I recalled my best friend. Separating months ago at the World Tree was by far the most painful experience I had to endure after everything we'd been through together. There was just something about sharing two years of your life with someone, going on adventures, going through things no kid should ever have to go through...seeing each other at our weakest and worst. Killua had seen the ugliest part of me, yet had risked so much, even his life...for me.

Guilt formed in my gut, and I felt a tightening at my heart. _I'm the worst._ To the very end, he was always there. Saying goodbye, even if it wasn't for forever, hit me like a truck.

I remembered the smile he had worn before he turned away from me, and I realized I had longed to see it again. But that would be selfish of me. After all, he chose to not come with me, so I could spend time with my father Ging, and so he could protect his little sister, Alluka and see the world with her. Who was I to intrude on something he decided for himself, yet ultimately for the good of myself too?

Allowing myself to fall back onto my bed, I threw my arm over my eyes and sighed. I was letting myself become distracted again. I was supposed to be concentrating on getting my Nen back. The countless hours I had already spent, and the separation with my best friend, would all go to waste if I didn't stop procrastinating soon.

Face bathed in moonlight, I remove my arm, a fire in my eyes, as I was determined to return to my task, so I could show something Killua could be proud of whenever we reunited.

I still believed...I had still believed that would happen.

* * *

Now four years later, I was as cynical and jaded as they could come. Many of my old friends have told me on more then one occasion that I was not the kid they used to know. Believe me, I know that.

At only eighteen years old, my pessimism outweighed my optimism, yet, as much effort as it took, I would smile, face the world head on, like the Gon back in the day. After all, all the hard work I had put in, all the training, my Nen coming back, I wasn't about to throw it all away just because of my shitty attitude. I would revert back into my old personality somehow. It would just take some time.

Packing my bags, I'd look around my room, nostalgia strong. I had spent all my life here, and despite my weariness as of late, I found myself smiling fondly as I caught glimpse of the forest through my window, the smell of the trees wafting through over to my nose and I inhaled deeply.

Yeah, this might be the cure to this disease I carried, the one that made me a whole different person. Allowing myself to spend a few days with my Aunt Mito here on Whale Island was a big decision on my part, and I would miss her and this house, but it was time I left the nest.

As of now, I had been drifting from hotel to hotel, taking on small meager jobs as a teenager, but over the years, I found myself being requested for bigger, well paid missions and I was soon to find it was all thanks to Ging being my dad.

Now, the bigger decision then coming here, was the one I made involving getting my own apartment flat. It was in Yorknew, dingy, yet affordable until my popularity took off, so to speak.

My Aunt Mito cried of course, as I had expected, and demanded I stay in touch and to not be reckless. My near death experience had frightened her beyond recognition, that when I had returned home, she wouldn't release me from her embrace for what seemed like an eternity.

Shaking my head, smile still surprisingly present on my features, I straightened up after zipping up my bag. It was time to go. There was no turning back once I walked out that door.

Heading down the stairs, I found Mito-san and my grandmother waiting at the foot of them, already crying, and my Aunt Mito clasping a handkerchief in hand. Of course.

"Remember, call me as soon as you settle in." She demanded of me, dusting off my jacket. Motherly until the end.

"I will, Mito-san." I laughed, shrugging her off only to have her throw her arms around me with a sob.

"Honestly, don't smoother the poor boy." My grandmother's soft voice cut in and when Mito-san pulled away, I found the old woman smiling. "Be safe out there, my precious grandson."

I was thankful she wasn't as clingy as my Aunt Mito, but her words were enough to bring tears to my eyes and I nod. "I will." Realizing then how much I grew, standing almost a head taller than Mito-san.

"I love you, Gon." Wiping at the corners of her eyes, my Aunt Mito smiles at me and I take her hand and give it a squeeze of reassurance.

"I love you too, Mito-san." Releasing her hand, I pick up the rest of my bags that had been waiting by the front door and I brush past them, the door already open and waiting for me to step into my new life. Whatever was out there, I was a Hunter, I had a purpose, and without looking back, I headed off to the dock, where a ship would be waiting for me.

My boots resounded against the dirt path that led away from my childhood home. The pain I had carried earlier on in my life was now faint, though it was still very much present.

And the promise? The promise was now no more than a memory, yet at the time, I wasn't aware of how vividly it would return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> low and behold, the first actual chapter! *applause* hope it's off to a good start! I'm so excited for this book, and I hope you are too! this is straying from my usual romance fics and I'm so anxious Dx


	4. They Can't Control You Anymore

一 _"A brother who's nice to Alluka, has_  
 _to be nice to Nanika too."_

**Alluka's POV**

**==**

It was dark. It was always dark and there was no escaping it. She remembered it clearly, as if it was just yesterday that she was dragged to a room, filled to the rim with toys of all sorts, as if that would be enough to entertain her. The days and weeks became meaningless nothings. The darkness一whether the light was always on or not, was always present, ready to swallow her whole at any given moment, and no matter how loudly she screamed, or cried out, no one would come to her aide.

Not even her beloved older brother, Killua.

Fidgeting and twitching in her sleep, Alluka whimpers, thoughts of her brother filling her unconscious mind, that was shrouding her dreams with glimpses of the darkness. Little did she know, her whimpers grew coherent, sweat sheening across her brow, as her brother's name is uttered out in a pained voice.

"Killua...."

It wasn't until she was shook continuously, that she would suddenly jolt awake, strands of her long black hair sticking to her neck and forehead as she sat up, her breathe coming out erratically, as if she had just been running for her life.

"Alluka."

A voice cut through the darkened silence, soft and gentle, tone laced with concern, as its speaker moved into the moonlight, making his appearance known.

"Zushi." Alluka breathed out in relief, when she saw that she was in the safety of the hotel room they had rented the night before.

"You did it again." Zushi pointed and Alluka followed his finger to see that she had conjured up her Nen dolls in her sleep and they were currently floating around her, in a circle.

"I-I'm sorry!" She cried out apologetically, her concentration broken and her dolls would clatter to the ground, before they disappeared one by one until none were left.

"I swear, you're going to give me a heart attack one of these nights, waking up and seeing those things just floating around in front of me." Zushi whined, though he noticed Alluka wasn't even paying attention. Her blue eyes were clouded over, and she was staring off at something in the distance.

"Alluka?" He waves a hand in front of her face, and that's enough to pull her out of her stupor.

"Z-Zushi! I-I'm sorry!"

The dark skinned teen just frowns, brows furrowing in concern. "You dreamed about it again, didn't you?"

Alluka sighs and nods, running her thin fingers through her hair, to unstick the strands from her sweaty skin. "I did..."

Closing his eyes briefly, Zushi let out an exasperated sigh before opening them, hazel oculars brimming with determination. "You know they can't control you anymore, right?"

"I know." The Zoldyck female shook her head. "But I can't help these dreams. They come more persistently now. It means something, I just know it does."

"Like what?" Zushi asked, confusion flitting over his features, unsure of what Alluka's nightmares of her past had to do with their current situation.

"I still haven't figured it out." She admitted, bringing her hand up to rub at her arm, suddenly feeling a cold draft around the room, despite that it was the middle of a scorching summer night.

"Because it has nothing to do with finding Killua." He said, trying to keep his impatience out of his voice. It wasn't that Alluka's nightmares angered him, it just bothered him that she let them affect her in ways that she couldn't even figure out, distracting her from their mission. The one she decided to take upon herself, bringing Zushi along.

"How do you know?" She muttered, eyes narrowing as she looked up to face him. "It could mean Killua is in danger and that's why he's not appearing in my dreams! Or we could be getting close!"

"Do you really believe that?" Zushi finally asked, daring to speak out the question he's been withholding for months now, after so many dead ends and false leads. "Maybe he just doesn't want to be found."

That did it. Alluka stood up and without another word to him, stomped her way to the door and out of the room, slamming it shut so hard behind her, that it vibrated the walls, causing them to shake and complains from neighboring patrons could be heard in the rooms around them.

Zushi knew he crossed the line, but after so many months of searching for Killua, his patience had worn thin.

"Where are you, old friend?" He mumbled, to know one in particular as Alluka had taken her leave.

He didn't want to admit it, but Gon and Killua both had filled his own dreams, and what he had seen terrified him. Zushi swore he wouldn't speak of it to Alluka. It would shatter her very being, her very core. She was already hurt enough by the sudden disappearance of her beloved brother two years ago.

She's been through enough.

* * *

By the time Alluka left the building of the hotel, she paused in front of the entrance and sighed deeply. She knew that she had to apologize to Zushi once she returned. He put up with her and supported her in everything, no matter what it was.

"Zushi..." Her voice lilting, she looked up towards the floor in which their room lay and wondered if he'd come after her. Most likely. He's grown more protective of her since they started seeing each other, more so then when she studied Nen alongside him with Wing as their instructor.

"Wonder what Killua would think." She smiled fondly at the thought of her brother, and how protective he'd be when he found out she had a boyfriend. And someone he knew at that. How she longed to see him. Tears began to sting the corners of her eyes until sobs wracked her very body.

"Killua...why did you leave me?" The question she longed to wish to know the answer to was screamed out in the darkened night, with the only light coming from the moon, that cascaded down on her small figure as she collapsed onto the ground.

"Alluka!" Zushi's voice cut out, before his footsteps could be heard on the concrete. "Are you okay?" He knelt down beside her before pulling her into a tight embrace. Over the many years he spent training, his arms grew broad and now Alluka found comfort in their warmth.

"I'm sorry, Zushi." She sobbed, her hands clutching at the front of his shirt.

"You don't have to apologize." He was quick to dismiss. "I said awful things I shouldn't have."

"But you're right." She sniffed, pulling away to gaze at his beautiful big hazel orbs with her own tearful azure ones. "It might not mean anything, except as a grim reminder of all the pain I suffered at the hands of my family. The dreams are manipulating me to make me remember them, and forget about Killua. To remember the darkness."

Zushi nodded, relief flooding through his figure that she understood. "They can't control you anymore, Alluka. You're free. You've been free ever since Killua rescued you."

"I know." Wiping her eyes, determination and purpose gleamed in them beneath the moonlight. "That's why we have to find him. It's my turn to rescue him."


	5. Gain

一 _"I still see him, you know? Like, in the corners of my eyes and such, little flashes; I'll see him as I turn, but then he's just gone."_

**Gon's Pov**

**==**

The man was a rather heavyset one; stiff and dressed in a pinstripe suit. Dark gray wisps of hair framed his features, and every time he shifted impatiently in his seat, his chair would give an audible squeak. A dark scowl that seemed almost permanent, etched his face as he impatiently drummed his fingers on the steel works of the table he currently sat behind.

An uncomfortable silence filled the air of the room; the only sound would be the ticking of the clock, which echoed around the space annoyingly.

"He's late." He growled, his voice practically rumbled with vigor, clearly on the edge of anger as his dark eyes fixate on the door, that for the past hour, he had watched like a hawk, in wait for his guest to arrive.

His bodyguard--stocky and tall, lent a silent ear, hands behind his back and a rather toned and broad body dressed in a silky tuxedo. The entirety of the man's guards were dressed as such in fact.

What was assumed to be the man's secretary, a tall, stoic and thin female with wild curly blonde hair, shuffled through her electric files. "He should be arriving soon, sir." She spoke out uncomfortably.

"Soon?" The man's scowl deepened further. "I've been waiting for over an hour, Liz. I don't care if he's some big shot Hunter or the son of Ging Freecss. This is unacceptable!"

"His ratings are quite high sir." Piped up one of the guards.

The man, regarding this comment with sheer silence, tapped his foot noisily, it's sound filling the room, along with the telltale clicking of the clock. After a long pause, he muttered, "This better be worth my time and money, dammit."

_Tap, tap._ The man checked his watch. A quarter past eleven. His client was supposed to meet him on the dot at ten. "God knows what I've got in store for me."

Suddenly, the doors handle of the large conference room was fiddled, delivering a resounding click through the formerly tense air. The man straightened his posture and kept a firm eye on the door.

After moments of elongated wait, the door swung open. One lone male stood in the now open doorway, dressed presently in the most ordinary attire one could expect on a Double Star Hunter. The man lifted his thick gray eyebrows, barley suppressing his shock.

The dark haired male casually raised up a hand and grinned. "Yo." Though it seemed rather forced and awkward.

The man could only wonder what he had gotten himself into.

**==**

"Eh, this coffee tastes kinda bitter." I complain, wrinkling my nose in distaste as I took a sip from my cup.

The woman, who's name I think was Liz, gave a loud resigned sigh, a red fingernail shooting out to point at a small bowl that was placed at the center of the table.

"We have creamer you know, and sugar." She looked almost astounded. "Haven't you ever had coffee before?"

A sheepish grin makes it's way onto my face and I tilt my head innocently. "Ah, well, Mito-san always said it made me hyper, so she--"

The man cleared his throat, cutting me off abruptly. "May I politely interject? We have an important mission to discuss, if you remember."

I straightened up and scratched my cheek rather awkwardly. "Right. Mission. Got it. So I'm supposed to track down a, what was it again?"

Liz regarded the teen with a wary expression. He seemed rather distracted, his smiles and expressions seemingly forced, and she wondered for the umpteenth time if they chose the right Hunter for the job or not. For the case was complicated, and it would surely wreck a havoc of emotions from the boy in front of them.

She sighed again. "Did you not read the email at all discussing all the important details? Your job is to track down the most wanted criminal at this present time."

"Ooooh. Well, if he's the most wanted, how come I've never heard of him or seen him on the news?"

"He's pretty sly and careful at not being caught." Liz explained as patiently as she could. I could tell she was trying her best to keep her cool around me. "Not to mention, pretty new. Though we managed to catch sight of his appearance a couple weeks ago after he slaughtered a whole office full of employees related to the Hunter's association. He was caught on a hidden camera he didn't see. The others were destroyed. How he gets this intel is still a mystery. We don't know who he works for, so that's another job of yours."

"So I track him down, get information out of him--"

"By force if you have to." Cut in the man again. "Catching him alive is out of the question. He'll kill you before you get the chance. By any means necessary, we need to know what we're dealing with. Get all the information you can get from him without getting killed. In return, we'll keep researching him in the meantime."

"--then I kill him?" I finished my earlier statement, ending it in a question that I practically whispered, my voice wavering. I've never killed anyone before. It was against my policy as a Hunter. The Chimera Ants were different. They weren't people.

My question hung ominously in the air, the body guards around the room shifting uncomfortably. No one seemed to like this idea, despite the fact that we were discussing a criminal. It only piqued my curiosity even more at who this guy really was. At least, I assumed it was a man.

"Yes." The man finally announced, sitting back in his chair, and it slightly squeaked beneath his weight again.

The guards stared at one another in silence, as if they were afraid to speak, leaving me to wonder why.

"So...who is this guy?" I finally dared to ask, and the air around us only grew more tense, the guards casting glances at one another. Even Liz, who looked annoyed with me earlier, was shuffling through the files in her arms nervously, until she pulled one manila folder from her pile and dropped it onto the table where it landed in front of me.

"See for yourself." Was all she said.

I stared down at the file, rather nervously I might add, for the awkward behavior of everyone around me gave me reason to believe that I wouldn't like what I would see once I opened up the file.

And they were right.

For upon opening the folder, I found myself staring at a photo of someone I knew very well, or at least...I used to.

The photo paper clipped inside was none other then a photo of my best friend.

Killua Zoldyck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry these first chapters are so short! they'll get longer. I'm just still pulling everyone into the story, and such. But on a better note, Killua will be coming in the next chapter! So look forward to it.


	6. It's So Dark Without You

一 _"Gon is light. Sometimes he shines so brightly that I have to look away. But I still wanted to stay by his side...so why did he leave me all alone?..."_

**Killua's POV**

**==**

Blood. The first thing he smelled when he finally regained consciousness, was the sickly, sweet smell of blood. It filled his nostrils until they flared from the overwhelming stench. Glancing down, he saw he was sitting in a pool of it, with several bodies scattered around him, all void of life.

Bringing a blood stained pale hand to his temple, Killua rubbed his fingers into his brow, his head throbbing with the beginnings of a headache.

"I did it again." He muttered, standing up and began walking, stepping over the bodies in his path, casually, his face impassive and void of any emotion.

Always, he always lost control when his switch was turned on nowadays, and it would result in him going on a rampage that would end in him losing consciousness. When he would wake, it would take him a moment to remember what happened.

The bodies though, were usually enough to spark his memory.

"Awwww." He whined, as he walked towards the exit of the building he was in. "Now I'm bored."

**==**

"You didn't get rid of the bodies again?" The man's voice was angry and he looked ready to pop a vessel. "How many times do I have to tell you?!"

"Cleaning up isn't part of my job, old man." Killua spoke nonchalantly, feet resting on the table before him and twirling a strand of his white hair in between his fingers. He needed it cut. It was too long now. That's what was going on through his mind as the man on the other side of the table yelled at him, practically spitting.

"Since you don't know how to get rid of the evidence, I'm deducting your pay!" He finished, opening up the briefcase he had lifted from where it stood by the leg of the table.

This got Killua's immediate attention. "You're what?" He asked, his voice low it almost came out in a hiss.

"That's right." The man smirked, satisfied this is what got Killua's attention. "I'm deducting half your pay."

Hands closing into fists and clenching, Killua stood up slowly, kicking his chair back. "Big mistake, grandpa." Next thing the man knows, he suddenly feels cold and there's an ache in his chest. Shocked, pupils widened, he looks down to find there's a hole in his chest and Killua was no longer in front of him. "W-What?" He gargles out pathetically, looking over his shoulder to find Killua, who turned to face him, face stoic and with his heart in his clawed hands. "Y-you..." But that's all he manages before he collapses dead over the table.

Killua sighs, dropping the man's heart before ambling over and picking up the briefcase, shutting it after a quick observation of it's contents.

"I killed another client." He complained out loud to himself as he began to leave. "But not my fault they're all morons."

Dragging the case after him, his thoughts began to cloud over and darken until he felt himself shrouded in bright light and then laughter filled the air.

"Ne, Killua? Have you ever been on a date before?"

Killua jolted as he put down the weight he had currently held in his hands. "Of course not, you moron. I spent all my life training as an assassin and ever since I quit, I been with you."

"Oh, right." Gon chirped out, continuing to lift his own weight.

"Right." Killua replied with finality before a saddened look crosses his features, unseen by Gon. _And I really don't want that to change._

Back in the present, Killua shook his head. _So why did it change, Gon?_ He thought desperately. _Why did you leave me all alone?_

Killua tried to spend his time _not_ thinking about Gon. But it proved more difficult with each passing day. It came to the point where he could see his best friend's face in the corner of his eyes, but when he turned, he would be gone.

_Right. Cause that's what he did. He left. He's gone. Now I'm forever trapped in this darkness._ Pale hands grasp more tightly to the case he was holding, until his knuckles were ghostly white, more white than he already was.

"You're gone, Gon." Killua whispered out, cerulean eyes suddenly darkening over. "It's time I forget about you."

**==**

Having made it back safely to his hideout, despite the sirens that filled the city, Killua lied on his stomach, chin propped on a pillow as he clicked through the channels of his old tv with a rather bored expression on his face. He was lucky he knew how to steal cable and electricity, otherwise, it'd be hard living on his own and in secret.

"But I'm a criminal." He spoke to himself. "Not that the world knows about me yet. The Hunter association really is stupid." It had been a tedious task to delete his records from the Hunter's association documents and everything that went with it, not to mention all the cameras and security feeds he had to disable before any of his jobs, all to remain secret and a mystery. Killua just liked the sound of it. Being a killer from the shadows.

"They'll never know who I am." He gleefully called out, followed by maniacal laughter as he sat up before falling back onto his back, staring up at his grimy ceiling covered in mold and fungus.

This wasn't exactly the living situation he'd have chosen for himself, but it was all to stay out of the prying eyes of the public. If anyone caught a whiff of him, it would all be over.

"I'll be the name the world fears the most." He declared, smirk adorning his pale features. In all honesty, he didn't exactly work alone all the time. The Phantom Troupe surprisingly requested his help after Hisoka had killed off several of their members, not to mention the deranged clown himself sometimes needed his help and Killua complied, so long as they all kept it a secret that they saw him or knew his whereabouts. His family were some of the last people he needed to see.

And they weren't the only ones.

"They're all just a bunch of morons anyways." He sighed, closing his eyes and falling asleep.

His slumber was immediately plagued with nightmares. Darkness. He was surrounded by darkness, and no matter where he looked, there was no end to it. He'd reach out only to be grabbing at emptiness and no matter how many times he opened his mouth to scream and cry out, his voice would not come.

Killua was drowning in his own despair, loneliness and fear. It had been that way for four years now, and he could never escape from it. Eventually, after a couple years, he grew tired, exhausted, and gave in to the darkness, curling up in a fetal position until it claimed him.

When he woke, a strange ache filled his chest and he rubbed at it in annoyance, using his free hand to rub the sleep from his eyes and he tiredly turned to face the flickering picture of the tv in front of him.

The news was on. It was a report of a new massive murderer at large that the public was to stay away from as he was highly dangerous.

It would have been all well and all, and Killua would have drunk in the story with awed eyes if it wasn't his face that was plastered on-screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sure I like how this came out *sobs*


End file.
